May 27, 2010
An inside look at sex rehab
Chad Kimball risked his job and his marriage for online porn.
Kimball said he would stop looking at porn for a couple of weeks
only to return to his habit as part of what he described as his "binge
and purge cycle." After seeking treatment in 2005, he says he now
realizes he was in denial and using online porn as an escape from
depression and stress in his daily life.
Chad Kimball
The Back of the Yards resident, who says he's been relapse-free for
more than three years, fits the profile of a sex addict, according to
experts, because he was unable to control his sexual urges. It's a label
recently tied to Tiger Woods and Jesse James in news stories and punch
lines, but addiction experts see it as a serious issue. Woods and James
are the latest among a list of celebrities who reportedly have been to
rehab for sex addiction.
The spectrum of care to treat sex addiction ranges from residential
rehab programs or weeklong intensive outpatient programs to weekly
therapy sessions and attending 12-step programs, similar to Alcoholics
Anonymous, according to experts.
Experts say the goal for addicts is not to achieve complete
abstinence from sex, but for the patients to control their behavior and
build healthy sexual and intimate relationships. To that end, sex
addiction is more similar to an eating disorder than to a drug
addiction, experts say. As the goal for a person with an eating disorder
is healthy eating and not entirely staying away from food, the goal for
a person with sex addiction is to build healthy relationships.
Just as the spectrum of care for sex addiction greatly varies, so
does the time and money spent on treatment. No matter if an addict is in
rehab for four weeks or three months, recovery is a lifelong process,
addiction experts said.
Kimball, who chronicles his own recovery journey on his blog, kicksexaddiction.com, sought
the help of an addiction counselor in 2005 and since has started
support groups in McKinley Park and Lakeview to help other addicts. To
hold himself accountable, he said, he uses a computer monitoring program
that sends his wife and pastor reports of sites he's visited.
"Being in a state of anxiety and obsession, the world is not even
there. It's like you're not connected, or enjoying life and
relationships. It's miserable," Kimball said. "Being able to share my
true self with people, it feels so good."
Sex rehab Facts
RedEye delved into the world of sex therapy to find out what happens behind closed doors.
What is a sex
addict?
A sex addict is someone who
has trouble controlling his or her sexual behavior to the point where
the recurrent, intense sexual fantasy, urge or behavior causes
significant distress or leads to some problem in his or her life, said
Richard Carroll, director of the Sex and Marital Therapy Program at
Northwestern's Feinberg School of Medicine. Negative consequences of sex
addiction can range from loss of a job, relationship and money to jail
time and the risk of STDs.
The compulsive sexual behavior--which can include engaging in sex,
picking up prostitutes, looking at porn or masturbating--is
self-soothing for addicts, he said. "It's a way of escaping negative or
painful feelings, which could be anxiety, depression, loneliness,
emptiness," Carroll said.
The cycle is something Kimball is familiar with. "After you act
out, then you have shame," he said. "Then you pile the pain of the shame
on top of the pain you already had before you act out and then it's
even worse, so the cycle pretty much circles around again."
How common is sex
addiction?
Sex addiction experts cite estimates of 3 percent to 5 percent of
men and less than 1 percent of women who suffer from sexual
compulsivity.
Anecdotally, more people are seeking help for sex addiction and
clients are younger--many are in their mid-30s, said Rob Weiss, founding
director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in L.A. Weiss attributes the
change to the accessibility, affordability and anonymity of the
Internet.
Sex addiction is not recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders, known as the psychiatrist's bible. A
"hypersexual disorder" is proposed for the next edition, expected to be
out in 2013, according to the American Psychiatric Association. But the
phrase is used.
"People getting caught with a mistress are very quick to scream sex
addiction, get me treatment," said Shari Corbitt, senior executive
director of Promises Treatment Centers in California. "Having an affair
does not make someone a sex addict."
What happens in
rehab?
Rehab staffers say treatment centers don't look like psych
hospitals, but they're far from fun vacations as some might think based
on media coverage. Patients have full schedules starting as early as 6
a.m. and ending at 10 p.m. Most of the day is spent in various types of
individual and group therapy sessions. Other activities include programs
such as 12-step meetings and recreation time.
Group therapy entails sessions where clients work to confront one
another about the behavior they see, Corbitt said. Another group session
is focused on relapse prevention and how to avoid triggers that lead to
the compulsive behavior. In a third meeting, the group will spend a few
hours acting out scenarios that could result in relapses and work on
ways to prevent it.
Every Saturday, families are
invited to participate.
At Promises, clients commit to a 90-day abstinence period, which
includes no masturbation, so they can focus on their treatment. For
some, that treatment may also mean sobering up and dealing with
substance abuse, Corbitt said.
How much does rehab cost?
There doesn't appear to be any residential sex addiction treatment
centers in Chicago; many of them are located on the West Coast.
The cost for 90 days at Promises' West L.A. location is $38,500
while its Malibu center, which has amenities like massage and
acupuncture services, is $55,000 for 31 days, Corbitt said.
"People have a fantasy that going to Promises is like going to a
spa. They're in for a terribly rude awakening," she said.
Spending 30 days at Sierra Tucson Treatment Center in Arizona costs
$46,000 and incorporates a holistic approach, counselor Lisa Lovelace
said. Treatment at Sierra Tucson includes talking to psychiatrists and
therapists about patients' behavior and underlying issues of their
addictions and participating in a therapeutic group activities such as
wall climbing, she said.
"When you enter into a program to seek help for a certain behavior,
you have to be structured and work on you with no outside
distractions," Lovelace said.
An addict who prefers outpatient treatment should work with a
therapist immediately to address the behavior and create a contract
centered around changing the behavior, Weiss said. For those who need
more help but can't take a four- to six-week absence from work to go to
rehab, an intensive outpatient program is a shorter and less expensive
option compared to residential treatment, he said.
A two-week long intensive outpatient care at the Sexual Recovery
Institute costs $8,500. During outpatient treatment, patients spend
eight to nine hours a day at lectures and meeting daily for individual
and group therapy, Weiss said.
For those who choose not to pay for residential or outpatient
treatment for sex addiction, there are less formal options, including
speaking with a counselor or--as in Kimball's case--a spiritual leader.
Beware of the misconception that rehab provides an easy answer for
sex addiction, Weiss said.
- http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/redeye/2010/05/an-inside-look-at-sex-rehab.html
- http://www.promises.com/
